The so-called Mommy Wars only exist if we let them

Every holiday, there are a myriad of complaints about how Pinterest is ruining everything. Craft crazed moms building monumental homages for their little chicklets to hand out to every kid in the class while supposedly lesser moms are crushed by the guilt of not being mom enough. Ugh.

My kids gave store bought valentines’ to a handful of friends at school. We took cupcakes made from a box with less than perfect icing mushed on top by 6 year olds and a cacophony of sprinkles. Eat them or don’t eat them I say. Enjoy the valentine or don’t. I had fun with my boys putting together our Valentine’s day items for their friends. On the flip side, I also enjoyed sorting through the homemade valentines with little bags of candy that the boys brought home. I admired the creativity and thought that went into them. I appreciate that for some people, putting together these wonderful little bundles is pure enjoyment and fun.

No one can make you feel guilty unless you allow it. Know your strengths and talents and appreciate those of others. I may not send my kids to school with perfectly crafted homemade cards or snacks made from scratch all the time but I am thankful for those that do, as long as they enjoy doing it.

What makes me sad and to be perfectly honest, a bit angry, is reading about women who stress themselves out and beat themselves up

…because they aren’t able to breastfeed their kids until they are preschoolers,

…because they aren’t a stay at home mom,

…because they are a stay at home mom,

…because their kids don’t have perfect Christmas gifts, valentines, Easter goodies, Halloween treats, and St. Patrick’s day whatevers to give out to their classmates.

Repeat after me: No one can make you feel guilty unless you allow it.

If you’re not sure if you’re doing something for the good of your child or to assuage your own guilt, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I enjoying this?
2. Is my child enjoying this?
3. Is this a learning experience for my child?

If you can’t say yes to at least one of these questions, put down the glue gun and walk away. Sure, some people may judge you, but that’s their issue so don’t make it yours.

Oh, and the Mommy Wars? They don’t exist unless we let them. They start in your head…in imagining another mom has everything put together and somehow you are less. Banish the thoughts at the source. Because the Mommy Wars only exist if we let them.

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